When you have done enough cleansing of your beliefs, you end up at the place where you don´t believe in anything anymore. Except ” I am”. And that there is consciousness. Which is all there is.
Everything else is just a belief. And those beliefs are intelligent thresholds or gates that you need to walk over and through. I have an academic education and I was a very firm believer of science and facts. I loved facts and knowledge. I loved to investigate things, find out the “truth” and “know” things. And now I had to give up every cherished knowledge and piece of information I had gathered during the decades. Uh. Heavy duty.
First I let go of facts and science. That was actually not so difficult after the some sort of science-belief-veil dropped from my face. It started from not believing in media and news any more, not believing in food industry and especially in doctors and medical industry anymore. Religions were never my thing, so those stories and fairytales were also quite easy to see through and leave behind. But the most difficult belief to not-believe anymore was belief that there is a MEANING to everything. I had for couple of years learned to understand that there is souls and reincarnation and all that after life/energy crap. And I was right. It really does exist. But in the dream. Everything is possible in the dream. But I wanted so much to believe in soul connections and all that, because I had a very strong soul connection/twin soul experience last summer. I just knew that this person is my missing twin soul and now I have found him.
And I took me a quite while to let go of that belief also. And the reason is the one in the headline – emotions. When you have processed all the intelligence, fact, knowledge stuff and realized that no-one knows anything, you still have the BIG mountain called emotions to climb. Emotions are so real and they really, really kidnap you in a nano second. Before you even realize what happened, you are in the whirlwind. My biggest emotional baggage is abandonment and therefore love and relationships are my biggest emotional stumbling blocks. And that is the exact reason I met my twin soul last summer. Love is not the most demanding enemy for everybody. For some it might be feelings of shame or guilt. Everybody has their own major emotional trauma and that is the last mountain you have to tear down.
And it´s very very difficult. Because we humans are made of energy and emotions are energy so they really get a hold of you. Because we are nothing but emotions. When you let the emotions roll you and let them define your persona (for example my emotions of love tell me all the time that only thing I really want is to be loved and that has never happened permanently in my life, because I have this emotional trauma of abandonment) you are sound and deep in the sleep again. And it happens so fast and so often, that you don´t even realize what is going on.
But the good news is that when you really start to get frustrated and annoyed by the emotional rollercoaster and emotions´ very strong power on you, then you start to see through them. And slow process of freeing yourself from emotions and therefore from the sleep at the same time can begin. But you need to be very very tired of your emotions. Don´t deny them, let them come and go (because denial is same as becoming attached to them), but instead just see them and monitor. And see that they are just emotions of your role, the persona you are playing in this theatre called life. Those emotions “belong” to your role. But they are not true. Real they feel, same way as everything else in this dream feels real, but they are not true. And they are totally irrelevant. They are very relevant to you role persona, but from the consciousness and the truth point of view, those emotions are nothing. Just a dream.